[Rebecca] When my friends and I stick together There's nothing we can't do And when I say that, I specifically mean We're gonna stage a coup [Heather] With the power of our gossip giggles We'll storm the Pentagon! [Valencia] Then celebrate with bottomless mimosas On the White House lawn [All] We're going to braid each other's hair Then cut each other's braids Connect the braids to build a rope To hang all of Congress! Squad goals! [Valencia] Stay together forever! Squad goals [Heather] Take control of the banks! Squad goals! [Rebecca] Don't let a man come between us If he does, shoot him in the head! [All] O-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h! Friendtopia! A dystopia around our friendship Friendtopia! Our manifesto is fun Zig-a-zow! [Rebecca] Now that we have total control Get ready for what's in store Our reign will be like Sweet Valley High meets Nineteen Eighty-Four! [Valencia] When one of us gets dumped That becomes Memorial Day All agriculture will be diverted Into making us Rosé [Heather] There's a really exclusive sushi place That never let's us in So when we don't get in, we say [All] Let's just go home and drink rosé! Roll call! Rebecca! [Rebecca] The brainy one! Head of censorship and mind control! Heather! [Heather] The cool one! I put drugs in the water supply! Valencia! [Valencia] The sexy one! Czar of torture! [All & Rebecca] O-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h! Friendtopia! We nostalgically watch Hocus Pocus! Friendtopia! Aw, I love Hocus Pocus! Friendtopia! All citizens much watch Hocus Pocus! Friendtopia! Or they will be killed! Zig-a-zow!