At words poetic, I'm so pathetic That I always have found it best, Instead of getting 'em off my chest, To let 'em rest unexpressed, I hate parading my serenading As I'll probably miss a bar, But if this ditty is not so pretty At least it'll tell you How great you are. You're the top! You're the Coliseum. You're the top! You're the Louvre museum. You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss You're a Bendel bonnet, A Shakespeare sonnet, You're Mickey Mouse. You're the Nile, You're the Tower of Pisa, You're the smile on the Mona Lisa I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop, But if, baby, i'm the bottom you're the top! You're the top! You're Mahatma Gandhi. You're the top! You're Napoleon brandy. You're the purple light Of a summer night in Spain, You're the National Gallery You're Garbo's salary, You're cellophane. You're sublime, You're a turkey dinner, You're the time, of a derby winner I'm a toy balloon that's fated soon to pop But if, baby, i'm the bottom, You're the top! You're the top! You're an Arrow collar You're the top! You're a Coolidge dollar, You're the nimble tread Of the feet of Fred Astaire, You're an o'Neill drama, You're Whistler's mama! You're camembert. You're a rose, You're inferno's Dante, You're the nose On the great Durante. I'm just in a way, As the french would say, "de trop". But if, baby, i'm the bottom, You're the top! You're the top! You're a Waldorf salad You're the top! You're a Berlin ballad You're a baby grand of a lady and a gent You're an old dutch master, You're Mrs. Aster, You're Pepsodent You're romance, You're the steppes of Russia, You're the pants on a Roxy usher I'm a lazy lout that's just about to stop, But if Baby, I'm the bottom You're the top!