Tom: C
C
Well here's how this whole mess got started
Em
Had a stripper at a bachelor party
Am
I knew when she jumped out of that cake
F G
We were meant to be
C
The next date we both flew off to Vegas
Em
I must have been an ignoramus
Am
I honestly believed that she
F
Loved me just for me
G Am F C
Oh it wasn't six months it came to an end
G Am
I walked out of the courtroom crying
F
She left with a grin
C
Cause she got half
G
And I said "OW!"
Am
I mean dang
F C
That comes to nearly fifty thou
G
Per date
Am F
My butt had never been so chafed
C
Cause she got half
C
I wondered if I'd remain lonely
Em
Or would I find my one and only
Am
Then the answer to my prayers
F G
Ap peared on my TV
C
The cutest little tarot card reader
Em
I knew that I just had to meet her
Am
Then she said it was in the cards
F
For her to marry me
G Am F C
Oh wasn't three months later I was back in court a gain
G Am
No way she could have predicted
F
The way it would end
C
Cause I got half
G
And she said "OW!"
Am
Two dollars a minute
F
So every one call right now
C
Your
G
Future aw aits
Am F
And I will be the next Bill Gates
C
Cause I get half
G
Some times you're better off as friends
F
Cause if it ever ends
G C
Then they get half
G
And you'll say "OW"
Am F
So I'm not looking to get married right now
C G
I've got a date
Am F
With a beautiful Playboy Play mate
C
Who won't get half
