I got this feeling that I am boring So I'm going through red lights To see if I get caught Caught in the stress, with a trumpet on my chest I go through old songs I learned in middle school My american dream is to not do anything So for my birthday this year, all I'm asking for Is a glass of water and maybe a magazine My fist and My legs are Made of glass And I punch just like a little kid But hey guys don't worry, yes I am still an old man I love crossword puzzles and going to bed at ten My american dream is to not do anything So for my birthday this year, all I'm asking for Is a glass of water and maybe a magazine I'm jogging through old lonely neighborhoods Of houses my parents couldn't afford And it's crazy to think who might live in them now Meanwhile, I'm just sitting here all motionless I have a tattoo on my arm of a grocery list To see if I could keep my priorities straight My american dream is to not do anything So for my birthday this year all I want's a magazine