Yeah, uh Shady! It's Cashis Serenade my life Shady! Focusing the opening emotions that I hold within Surrounded by my inner demons thinkin' I should roll with them I don't wanna go to hell, I don't wanna go to jail But I wanna kill a man, maybe I should kill myself I been sittin' contemplatin', suicidal situations Now I'm placed in a position, to abide the whole nation And I'm spottin' niggas hatin', I'm just watchin' bein' patient Prayin' for my own existence, some say I'm a mental patient Drugs are taking over me, sorrow is patrolling me Follow my blind heart, tomorrow run the cold streets I been crying for a week, Will is weak, can I speak Without somebody judging me, pushing me and shoving me Mamma if you love me you won't really let me go But I live for a cause that I don't really know Am I wrong if I cry, but I can't 'cause it's time For the truth in my life, I will be crucified CHORUS 2x I'm sittin' back patient, patient I'm ready and waitin', waitin' for my homicide, serenade my life And I can't escape it, escape it I'm ready and waitin', waitin' for my homicide, serenade my life Conversatin' with my brothers spirit, I hear him saying Strangers in the dark lurkin' you just gotta feel them waiting I ain't eatin', I ain't sleepin', closets open and I ain't breathin' Death is running over me, my conscience keep on showin' me Ever since my early teens, knew this was my destiny World gotta feel my pain, I'm no longer questioning When, where or how I will, happen 'fore when I get killed? Never take my voice away, through records sales is how I live View me as the realist nigga, poppin' pills drinkin' liquor Sucker to depression makes me turn to my aggression, quicker Got a lotta homies dead, buried all in my head Cry inside every time I ever stop to read my hands How could I fear a man? I've never been near a man All of y'all fraudulent, y'all don't like it, kill me then How could I fear a man? I've never been near a man All of y'all fraudulent, y'all don't like it, kill me then Chorus Sunk into a sphere of svelte, misery being dealt My only fear is lyrically, mean not being felt I'm much harder, much smarter, more true, fuck you! No matter what the conversation, this is what it comes to Imagine staring at your friends, feelin' that they don't love you Ya ride till the end but they feel, they above you I gotta chosen few, name my homies in the song If fire arms murkin' me when I'm gone I tried to be a better man, baby if you understand My love for you is true but I ain't really love myself See nobody wanna help, better off to end this way Talkin' to my only friends, weed leaves, Hennessey Came from a broken home, smoke till the dope is gone Listen to the words homie, this ain't really just a song Came from a broken home, smoke till the dope is gone Listen to the words homie, this ain't really just a song Chorus Serenade my life Shady Records on Cashis This is real shit Serenade my life I ain't scared, I ain't runnin', I'm waitin' ???? nigga Ha! Live as a man, die as a man