I have an affair, a love affair, with a thing Yes I have an affair, a squalid affair with a thing Well the preacher tell me, "Son, to love an object is a sin." Now I call that thing J. Edgar, though it don't run no F.B.I. Yeah I call that thing J. Edgar, though it don't run no F.B.I. That's the end of this song, and I don't know why. Goodbye.