Don’t you know me? I’m your paperboy. Throwing bundles of newspaper joy, This neighborhood’s a loony bin I’d rather throw the news in compton If you live here, you’re probably crazy Lock your dog up, stop that baby! I’m on duty, it’s all about discipline Please don’t strike me with that rolling pin I sometimes miss when I throw Sorry I broke your window Can’t maneuver on a drainage ditch Cars don’t stop here, they’ll just hit a bitch Can’t stop riding, it’s just what I do My bike pedals are glazed with superglue I’m on my bike, perpetually I lay in bed, bike lays with me On this side street, rules are strict and tight New subscribers, paint your house white I have nightmares, shaking at the wheel Then I wake up and do it for real Now faulty aim may occur, sorry I threw the paper at a car and killed your father Now it’s sunday, I am done, I’m out Fuck these nutbags, fuck this paper route I’m gonna get a job at wal-mart.