Tom: G
G C
Don't tell Andy, don't tell Aunt Bee
G D C
They'll come a-lookin' for Opie and me
G C
Tell 'em we're dead or tell 'em we're gone
G D G
Me and Opie down by the duck pond
[Verse 1]
G C
Well Goober brought down some homegrown hay
G D G
It whomped me up the side the head, I never felt that way
G C
Aunt Bee said we'd be in dutch
G D G
If the sheriff ever caught us smokin' that stuff
[Chorus]
G C
Don't tell Andy, don't tell Aunt Bee
G D C
They'll come a-lookin' for Opie and me
G C
Tell 'em we're dead or tell 'em we're gone
G D G
Me and Opie down by the duck pond
[Verse 2]
G C
I heard a little holler down in the woods
G D G
Sounded like someone saying, 'Mm mm good!"
G C
I moved a little closer, sneaking like a squirrel
G D G
Otis was slurpin' up his favorite girrrrrl
[Verse 3]
G C
Otis said, "Boys, come sit by the still
G D G
I'll pour you up a jar of that famous swill
G C
If you can't walk, don't worry no way
G D G
Now LIGHT THAT PIPE and pass it my way"
[Chorus]
G C
Don't tell Andy, don't tell Aunt Bee
G D C
They'll come a-lookin' for Opie and me
G C
Tell 'em we're dead or tell 'em we're gone
G D G
Me and Opie down by the duck pond
[Verse 4]
G C
I had to dodge a rock that was hittin' the tree
G D G
Out of the swamp came Ernest T.
G C
Gold tooth a-flashing as he hit that pipe
G D G
Out of the blue came Barney Fife
[Verse 5]
G C
Well Barney come down to nip that still
G D G
Waving an axe, a lawman's thrill
G C
"Opie, don't smoke, you'll turn yourself green
G D G
Get me up a puff and I'll show you what I mean"
[Chorus]
G C
Don't tell Andy, don't tell Aunt Bee
G D C
They'll come a-lookin' for Opie and me
G C
Tell 'em we're dead or tell 'em we're gone
G D G
Me and Opie down by the duck pond
[Verse 6]
G C
We all sat there for most of the night
G D G
Trying to figure out our left from our right
G C
Here comes Andy and ol' Aunt Bee
G D G
Scoldin' the hell out of Opie and Me
[Chorus]
G C
Don't tell Andy, don't tell Aunt Bee
G D C
They'll come a-lookin' for Opie and me
G C
Tell 'em we're dead or tell 'em we're gone
G D G
Me and Opie down by the duck pond
