Congratulations! Go stretch your ears and get a neck tattoo Congratulations! All of our friends knew there was no better choice than you Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Congratulations! Are you gonna move up north and throw away your Yankees hat? Congratulations! Are you gonna swear off ska and stop gelling your hair back? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Nice going asshole, nice going asshole Nice going asshole, nice going asshole You finally did something right and I'm 2% bummed it wasn't me I hope you know that Christine's gonna ask you To get into all your shows for free And I will smile while silently resenting you For quitting Bomb The Music Industry! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Now Dave has another friend who's in a more successful band Now Jenna's got another contact and another drummer to make out with again! Nice going asshole, nice going asshole Nice going asshole, nice going asshole You finally did something right and you'll probably meet Dave Grohl And tell us about him when you get home Then you'll get the news from me That you'll never quit the band And we're taking you out on tour For those two months a year that you're home because we can And sure it's out of spite not to replace you But you promised and we shook hands So remember when you're back in Long Island You will forever be forced to be a part of a ska band One, two, three One, two, three Pick it up, one, two, three Nice going asshole, nice going asshole Nice going asshole, nice going asshole You finally did something right, I guess state college did pay off We're all music majors too, can you make Ferret give us jobs? Or at least tell Ferret to sign my band?