Bobby Darin

The Proper Gander

Bobby Darin


There was a white mouse consultation 
Down at the county fair 
All the church mice, field mice and not 
so nice mice 
Everybody gathered there 
You see the muckidy muck he was 
speakin', tellin' them where it was at 
He said hear, hear there ain't nothin' to fear 
Except a three eyed Siamese cat 
And the crowd was stunned 
See, no single mouse had ever seen one 
He said don't be scared 
We're prepared. 

Then he held up a great big picture 
So every mouse could see 
What a three eyed Siamese cat looked like 
The face of the enemy 
And the crowd let out such a shudder 
As they lined up file and rank 
Starin' at a twenty foot picture frame 
Surroundin' a twenty foot blank 
Just empty space 
But every single mouse 
Swore he saw a face 
He said don't be scared 
We're prepared 

Then the muckidy much started screamin' 
Yellin' till his voice gave out 
He said now that you've seen what the 
cat looks like 
Gonna tell you what he's all about 
He said he don't eat cheese on Friday 
And he goes around lickin' his paws 
He's awful mean and he loves to keep clean 
And believes in changin' laws 
And the crowd went wild 
And every mouse began to fear for his child 
Don't scared 
We're prepared. 

Now two times two is forty-five 
The muckidy muck explained 
And the flat side of the moon is green 
And the farmer don't need no rain 
And the night is light and might is right 
And Supermouse is on our side 
And the three eyed Siamese cat's a plague 
From which nobody can hide 
And the mice all cringed 
The whiskers of that cat would soon 
be singed 
Don't be scared 
We're prepared. 

Then the muckidy muck started singin' 
Through his great paternal grin 
And the church mice, field mice 
All the patriotic mice 
Everybody chimed right in 
They sang this land is mice land 
Mice country tis of thee 
Well my father took it from the beaver rat 
Nobody's gonna take it from me 
And the mice all cheered 
The sound that they were makin' sure 
was weird 
Dont' be scared 
We're prepared. 

Then the muckidy muck said line up here 
Everybody give a buck 
To fight the three eyed Siamese cat 
takes money 
And a little bit of luck 
We've got a million of our best young mice 
To go out and volunteer 
To give up what they're livin' for 
To make the cat disappear 
Let's give 'em a hand 
Yay 
We don't want that cat invadin' our land 
No way 
We're not scared 
We're prepared. 

Then a mighty strange thing happened 
Guess you could call it fate 
You see, a gust of wind blew the picture 
frame down 
And it landed on the muckidy muck's head 
And the mice they all went crazy 
For the first time they saw the lie 
It was all a hoax on just simple folks 
And the muckidy muck must die 
And die he did 
The members of his staff they just fled 
They were scared 
Hah 
Just not prepared.