Bob Schneider

Sloppy Jalopy

Bob Schneider


They call me sloppy jalopy
I got a whole lot in my head
I never get up early baby
Just to get out of bed
I eat the jalapeno yes I do
And then I take a creamy dreamy
Hot stinky poo

They call me sloppy jalopy
I eat ice cream with my honey
She makes me laugh sometimes
Because you know she's so funny
They call me sloppy jalopy
I've got t he barbecued buns
Because I wear no panties
When I back in the sun

I pick my nose clean baby
Roll the boogers in a ball
And I flick 'em at people
When I go to the mall
I got a big pair of shorts
And they're cut off way below the knees
I keep my pockets filled up
With macaroni and cheese

I watch the Larry king
So I can fall right to sleep
My girlfriends got taste because
She thinks I'm a creep
I don't watch the news
Because I can't stand the sports
And my favorite companions
Are usually sold in cold quarts

I don't take no showers
Cause I'm a natural dude
But I do change my mind 
Because I hate to be rude
I love to do the lambada
But I don't do it very well
And my hair's always perfect
Because I use the styling gel