That's a poem by a dog Roses are grey Violets are a different shade of grey Let's go chase cars Me, with my strange choice of adjectives You, with your muscular teeth And your clockwise vagina I put a chameleon on a red dildo No He blushed There we go This is a poem about beauty About self-image And about the ability to transform Martha was ugly like a shaved baboon So she wrapped herself up in a curtain cocoon And after a week, she finally emerged She smelled like shit. What a psycho You're incomparable, like a I wanna beat you to death with a blunt object! I wanna grab one of those high-end fashion mannequins By the ankles and bash your rib cage in! I wanna sharpen 50 pencils, bind them with a rubber band Stick the lead ends in your mouth and punch the erasers! I wanna strap you to a bed of nails, then strap that bed of nails to the hood of my car So I can watch you suffer as we drive over the speed bumps in a mall parking lot during an earthquake! I want you to somehow survive a terrible car crash And somehow not survive a small fender-bender on the way back from the hospital Thank you, that's called: Dad This is a poem, it's really a story that's meant primarily for children But I think it's got a lesson we could all learn The squares lived happily in their square houses with their square yards in their square town But, then one day a family of circles moved in from the West! Get outta here, roundies! ' shouted one of the squares Why? , asked one of the circles 'Cause this is a metaphor for racism! When I walk into a party, you'd think I was one of those long, straight Tetris pieces Cause everyone's like, 'oh yeah, this guy's here Finally, we've been waiting for him to show up Like you wait in the game- forget it, I mean No! You had your chance If I had a million dollars, I'd pay your mother to have sex with me Afterwards, I'd invest in the remaining $999, 990 $10 for sex with your mother! Comedy! I smell comedy Well, it was comedy giving off that scent And finally Mid-October with leaves spilled like pencil shavings The streets dicing our town into neat unfair portions And me Eating that pussy, baby! Thank you guys so much