Tom: C
C
i have mood swings so bad i am scared of going out
F
go from happy to depressed in twenty minutes and i doubt that i can
C
focus even function if i try to go to school
F
when half my day is crying laying in a pool of my own drool
C
i hate these days where im frustrated and upset and overwhelmed
F
where i am happy then i hate myself and wish that i was dead
C
then im excited go out thrifting and then as im walking home
F
i feel so bad i feel like shit and i just wanna be alone
C
tired of trying and slowly detaching
F
then randomly smiling and feeling fantastic
C
then laying in bed for an hour just staring
F
then reading and cleaning and laughing and caring
[Chorus 2]
C
i have mood swings so bad that i cant fathom i am real
F
i have one too many feelings for just one person to feel
C
im so tired i can barely keep my eyes open at best
F
yet for 4 hours i lay awake not sleeping in my bed
C
i spend my money oh so recklessly i dont have self control
F
and then i feel so bad about it i just wanna stay at home
C
my one big problem is that i have shit to do i cant just sleep
F
the other is i am so energetic i cannot sit still
C
frantically browsing the apps on my iphone
F
lights my face up like an sos signal. “come home”
C
i feel so alone but i just wanna fake it we’ll
F
pretend i am happy till another moodswing makes it real
C
and i eat until i almost puke, i smoke a pack of cigarettes a day,
F
i pet my cat and i do laundry then my body is in pain, i wake up from my nap,
C
another nightmare creeping to my brain, i get my stories straight,
F
im ok if they ask, forget my meds and eating then i shower
C
3 times in a row cus its nice to feel the fake warmth to pretend im not alone.
F
laying on my body like a caring sillhoute, instead of a chalked up silver showerhead
C
i am so lonely and so happy im alone
F
i am so tired of my phone
C
i am so worried bout my friends
F
but are they worried bout me too?
C
i am so scared that this is it
F
then i feel patient as can be
C
then i feel reckless and confused
F
then i dont know what to do
C
and the man strongly implied
F
that i was faking being sick
C
to somehow make music about something
F
where i dont know shit
C
and i was angry as i sat
F
in my pjs on the counter
C
in the late afternoon
F
having skipped school and a coward
C
told me to get therapy and get medicated well
F
both are things i eat for breakfast
C
both are things i need and hell
F
i am doing what i can and surviving so you know
C
i am singing bout my struggles
F
cus theyre mine to sing about
