The day the great explorer came The countess slapped the kitchen maid And snapped at her, "Bring the plates out faster!" The count sneered down as he surveyed The table flush and fully laid He always was a mean and vicious master And all of Barcelona, Quick and heaving, thick with throng Stretched to see Columbus As his train just inched along The day the great explorer came, They shouted out his blessed name, hurrah! He dined between the king and queen The admiral of the ocean seas I do believe they named him governor He spoke of spice and sweet perfume Of golden flowers, heavy bloom Jealously, the count and countess hovered With every new delight described, The count was seen to wince "In my own house, he dares to Spout his brazen arrogance" He dined between the king and queen, The viceroy of Indians, hurrah! "Don Christopher, do tell me please, Was it really such a feat?" The count spit out to looks wonder "A voyage of, what, five short weeks? One any man could lead with ease For this, these trinkets and this plunder" He tried to hide his greedy eyes That sparkled cruel and cold For he, like all of Spain, Could only see that fate of gold "Don Christopher, Do tell me please, do tell me," hurrah! The great explorer shook his head And called out for a pantry egg The challenge, make it stay upright When all had tried and all had failed He lopped the tip right off the shell And stood it as the table roared out in delight But now that I have shown you exactly how it's done Any fool could manage easily enough The great explorer shook his head He shook his head, hurrah!