Good Evenin' Ladies and Gentlemen of the Historical Society You know in discussing history Some people say well it's over and done with so let's forget about it But we should remember we should remember Nathan Hale Patrick Henry Tennessee Ernie Grandpa Jones Oh my subject for this evening is great moments in American history I'd like to start with the Boston Tea Party I just like to start with a party Well you know what they were doin' is they were protestin' against taxes (Remember the Alamo) Sit down Tex I said taxes Now it is true that George Washington was the father of our country He admitted it he said I can't not tell a lie I did it with my little hatchet Oh no I guess that was another story Anyway George had this friend that just loved horseback ridin' His name was Paul Revere And one time he went out ridin' across the country side in the middle of the night And yellin' and wakin' everybody up He might 've been at one of them Tea Parties Anyway this girl named Betsy Ross Well she was up late doing some sewin' so she flagged him down She said Paul Revere you'd better cut out all that yell'in' Don't you know the British are comin' It was Nathan Hale who said I regret that I only have one life to give for my country Them sun of a guns said aww that's alright we'll just take the one you got And Ole Patrick Henry jumped up and said I know not what course others may take but as for me That all girl chorus looks pretty good And it was at Bunker Hill That somebody said don't shoot till you see the whites of their eyes Well the trouble with that was Them Red Coats had been on a wild party the night before You couldn't tell their red coats from their red eyes And who can ever forget when Admiral Dewey said to his capitan You may fire goodly when ready so he fired goodly As you probably know Ben Franklin was one of the luckiest guys in all history But you know one cold winter day the gas company turned off his utilities He asked 'em to turn 'em back on but they told him to go fly a kite He did and invented electricity won an all electric home Course the gas company didn't get much of a charge out of that Now in closing I'd like to give you Lincoln's Gettysburg address It's 117 1/2 East 6th Street I don't know the zip code