Tom: G [Intro] B A E B Way back when I was just ten Simple and sweet A Everywhere Fellas would stare E Out on the street C#m And I felt used B Kinda confused E A I would refuse to look in their eyes C#m F# But now I really love creepy old guys! We all do! B Gum disease Skin like grilled cheese Saggy old asses! Saggy old asses! A It's cute and vile Hey baby, smile! E To each girl that passes! (Wolf-whistling) C#m They make me blush! B Can't get enough! E A Now one of 'em loves me, wants to be mine! B That's right! C# F# B Marrying my own creepy old guy! I'm a creepy old guy! F# My creepy old guy, my creepy old guy E B I'm so happy I could cry! D#m E C# F# Girls may seem disgusted, but we're actually just shy! A My creepy old groom! Creepy old groom! G G#m Play that wedding tune Bm C# Hey folks, step aside! I am older, but I'm glad I waited! F# 'Cuz here comes the bride! B I am marrying my creepy old guy D A E Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy B My creepy old guy! D A G Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy! C Fix his hair Get him prepared For Armageddon Bb Sure, the groom Crawled out of a tomb F But hey, hey, it's a wedding! Dm So dim the lights C Pick up some rice F Say something nice! Bb It's my day to shine D G C I'm getting hitched to my creepy old guy! It's showtime! G Creepy old guy, creepy old guy F C She's marrying a creepy old guy! Em F Have you guys seen Lolita? D G This is just like that, but fine! Bb F Creepy old dude, creepy old dude G# Am Our faith has been renewed Dm D Now love is alive! F C Wave your baby girl goodbye F C I am walking down the aisle Dm C Dm C I wanna see a tear in every eye as I pass by F Am I know that on the outside he's disgusting F Bb And even on the inside, he's disgusting C# C But I know that this time, I'm makin' it right Making it right, making it right! F With my family by my side B O-M-G Bm Dressed to a T B Fancy and formal A I found me a wife L'chaim! To life! E This is so normal! C#m I was ignored B But now, I'm adored! E A 'Cause I extorted, tortured, and lied C# F# B Give it up for my underage bride! F# Here comes the bride Here comes the bride E God be glorified! F# I can't believe some cultures think this kind of thing's alright A My creepy old guy G#m My creepy old guy G G#m F# C#m Doesn't he deserve a chance at life? C# oh, yeah, that's right! Yeah, that's right! F# Let's make him alive! F# I am marrying my creepy old guy! Bm B Bm B Guy, guy, guy, creepy old guy, guy, guy, creepy old guy! E Guy, guy! F# I have chills! B Yeeeeeeeeah!