If words can paint a picture Then Scunthorpe is a gatefold Pages getting uglier with every turn Swinton is a shit hole Brighton is a scrapheap A broken rusting pyre that wouldn't burn A place that's not worth knowing Dudley is a nightmare Fleets of wired junkies who refuse to cleanse Swinton is a shit hole Scarborough is a tip With tides of brown that stretch out as evenings extend Swinton is a shit hole But what on Earth do I know? I've never been I've never set foot outside these concrete walls But I'll make the trip someday And until then I know nothing at all Chester is awash with wannabes and fakers I've never seen it for myself But I've been told it's pretty grim I'd fit right in I'll go there too someday on a whim Swinton is a shit hole But what on Earth do I know? I've never seen it for myself Swinton is a shit hole But what on Earth do I know? I've never been 'cos life's too short To suffer all of England's composites Where hired limousines are gridlocked in the night time It's the best But I'll hold out for the rest if you don't mind Swinton is a shit hole But what on Earth do I know? I've never been I've never seen it for myself Swinton is a shit hole But what the hell do I know? I've never been ouside these four shit-coloured walls