Tom: D
D > Bm > G > F#m
[Verse 1]
D Bm G F#m
I am the drunkest, ugliest girl at the bar
D Bm G F#m
Oh well I'm scheming, and I'm scheming, and I'm scheming, and I'm gonna go far
D Bm G F#m
All the boys, yeah they think I'm a star
D Bm G F#m
Because I'm drinking, and I'm drinking, and I'm drinking, yeah I go pretty hard
D Bm G F#m
I get a pinch on my ass, when I lean on the sill
D Bm G F#m
And then I bent it, and I bent it, and I bent it but not to pick up the bill
D Bm G F#m
My husband's at work, my baby's in a Daewoo sauna
D Bm G F#m
I hold my breath when I check, just to see that she isn't a goner
D Bm G F#m
The little dream sits there, she's like a fly in a jar
D Bm G F#m
Yeah who the hell are they to tell me that I can't leave my kid in the car
D Bm G F#m
I am the goddamn drunkest, ugliest girl at the bar
D Bm G F#m
Yeah who the hell are you to tell me that I can't leave my kid in the car
D Bm G F#m x 2
[Chorus]
D Bm G F#m
Yeah who the hell are you to tell me that I can't leave my kid in the car
D Bm G F#m
Yeah who the hell are you to tell me that I can't leave my kid in the car
[Verse 2]
D Bm G F#m
I am the dumbest, richest guy at the bar
D Bm G F#m
Yeah, well I'd take you for a ride but my girl took the keys to my car
D Bm G F#m
I made a deal over lunch baby, yeah it was worth 15k
D Bm G F#m
I show my teeth when I smile in a real matter-of-fact way
D Bm G F#m
I make so much money, I swear I never get any older
D Bm G F#m
And I don't talk to my brother cause that prick's got a chip on his shoulder
D Bm G F#m
Oh yeah I'm feelin real good, how much for one of those cigars?
D Bm G F#m
I want to breathe like a dragon baby, I cough up burning hot tar
D Bm G F#m
Hey look, I'm cold outta cash, just put it all on my card
D Bm G F#m
Hey, wait but you can't cut it up, my credit rating is five stars
D Bm G F#m
Oh well this place is a joke, yeah who do you think you are
D Bm G F#m
You're talking to the goddamn dumbest, richest guy at the bar
