A Rush & Siege

I can't understand what I do wrong half the time 
my judgment is blurred from this last year of defeat 
I never once acted like this before I met you 
now I'm a simplified sensation 
I'm nothing; a laughingstock to some 
I'm sorry for my vicious decline into this bedlam you see before your eyes 
I adhere to the progress of my helpless desire to live 
my innards are freezing inherently, like winter rain 
I'm over infectious regret